Medal of Honor: Warfighter
Developer: Danger Close
Available on: PS3, Xbox 360, PC
Reviewed on: Xbox 360 & PC
Well here it is folks, EA’s latest multi-million dollar ‘hey we’re cool like COD’ shooter. Yes EA has made it incredibly easy to be cynical about their big releases what with their corporate attitude & business practices both being what they are, but despite all that is Medal of Honor: Warfighter worth a look?
No. No it really isn’t.
Medal of Honor: Warfighter acts as a loose sequel to the 2010 franchise reboot casting you in the roles of several impressively bearded ‘Tier 1′ military operators deployed to fight the terrorist menace in hotspots around the present-day world.
While I have to give some level of respect to the ballsy notion of building a game with the premise of ‘ripped from the headlines’, I can’t help but feel a realistic first-person shooter whose mood alternates schizophrenically between sombre family-man drama and jingoistic ‘f-yeah’ military sim was not really the right way to go about it. I mean, there’s just something unsettling-feeling & kind of gross about a piece of immersive entertainment software that puts you in the boots of the fundamental-extremist fighting ‘men of this-here-mans-army’ in 2012.
Oh yeah, this game is about men. Men with manly beards. Not a single female character exists apart from the two main men’s wives back home in the good ol’ U.S-of-A. If EA wanted to present modern military life they really could have & damn well should have portrayed the brave & dedicated women who serve in many global militaries today. Wasted opportunity folks.
Anyway, politics & such aside, Metal of Hurrdurr: Borefighter is pretty much what you’d expect from a game trying so desperately to be one of the cool Call of Duty kids.
The single player campaign takes you through a bunch of heavily scripted levels in countries all over the world where you’ll shoot bad guys, dramatically breach doorways and uh… Well that’s pretty much it actually.
While Call of Duty’s campaigns keep things exciting with gleefully bombastic events and visually distinct gorgeous locations, Meal of Horror: Gorelighter’s mantra of ‘keep it based upon present-day War on Terror reality’ means the environments are all realistically drab and uninteresting to romp through, with the exception of a couple of admittedly kind of alright-cool chase sequences nothing particularly energised ever really happens.
Thankfully at around five hours, the campaign is mercifully short.
It’s buggy and crazy-linear too. If you dare attempt to stray even a few feet from the path you’ll encounter invisible walls, random boxes and bushes that you can easily get stuck in with no choice but to either checkpoint reload or grenade-suicide.
If Call of Duty’s level design is a corridor then Motel of Holler: Rawrspider’s is a dark crawl-space full of sharp hooks that snare your clothing.
But ‘ah!’ you all cry. ‘The real meat here in a game like this is the multiplayer!’ Well that’s disappointing too.
As you’d expect, Model of Odour: Storeblighter’s multiplayer features a bunch of different soldier classes with perks, kill streaks and an XP-unlock system.
The big and actually quite effective idea here though is the ‘fire-team’ system. Basically upon joining a match you’ll automatically be paired with a random buddy who acts as the Murtaugh to your Riggs. When respawning, if your buddy isn’t engaged in a fire-fight you can even spawn on him which is actually a pretty effective and clever little system that encourages teamwork quite well. Unfortunately this is the multiplayer mode’s one good feature.
Gunplay is fine and the kill-streak rewards are neat, if unoriginal, but the map design is awful and on some of them you can spawn camp the opposing team so hard that they’ll never have a hope of leaving their tiny corner of the map. Also the whole entire multiplayer mode is gated behind an online pass because EA. Just… Ugh.
To sum up, Lentil of Otter: Snorekiter is a spectacular multi-million dollar waste of space. At its best, it’s dull and derivative to the extreme. At it’s worst, it’s deeply-uncomfortably tasteless.
If it weren’t for EA’s hype campaign it would have been a tiny B-game that sat on retailer shelves next to the likes of Inversion and Damnation. If this game was a sandwich it would be two slices of cheap supermarket white bread with an ice-cube in between.
Oh and seriously, SCREW that one stealth sequence in the campaign where you’re a car. Yes, sneak past your enemies undetected as a CAR.
- It’s sure to get very cheap, very quickly, if you’re really that curious to give it a spin.
- The game is the very definition of bland.