Merry Christmas from the whole Space Meat team

Well the title says it all folks, yes it’s Christmas Day. The day we get together with friends and family, exchange gifts, eat tons of food, and celebrate the holy birth of a great man… Sir Isaac Newton. But those are not the only Christmas traditions, no there are many more. Including the tradition of cozing up at the end of the day and watching your favourite Christmas movie. Wether it be It’s a Wonderful Life or The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, each of us has a Christmas movie that connects to us in some way. So to help you decide which you are going to enjoy this Christmas here is my list of my top 5 favourite Christmas movies.

5. Home Alone
Back when Macaulay Culkin was cute and Joe Pesci had a career Home Alone was a laugh out loud slap stick Christmas comedy. Unfortunately the sequel took the Christmas theme to the extreme and turned the sap up to 11 without increasing the funny.

4. Bad Santa
Back when Billy Bob Thornton was cute and Bernie Mac still wasn’t funny Bad Santa was a black Christmas comedy that you couldn’t help but love, while simultaneously hating Billy Bob Thornton’s character.

3. The Nightmare Before Christmas
The only way this film could of been creepier was if it starred Billy Bob as Santa but it was still an amazingly well made claymation Christmas musical.

2. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
As much as I love this film it always makes me sad. I can’t help but wish National Lampoon was still a badge that meant the movie wouldn’t suck harder then Paris Hilton. And let’s not forget Chevy Chase, yet another hilarious actor to be lost in time.

1. Die Hard
Despite the new half decent sequel Die Hard is still the greatest action movie of all time as well as the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Now some people may say I’m cheating and that this isn’t a real Christmas movie. But I say to them, what is the spirit of Christmas if it isn’t to love each over and kill terrorists? What?

Well looking back on those films and remembering when movies didn’t suck I now see why more people commit suicide today then any other time of the year. Merry Christmas you filthy animals and a happy New Year.

Review: Lions for Lambs

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It’s nice to be surprised. Judging from the trailers in which a stern faced Tom Cruise asks: “do you want to win the war on terror; yes or no?” I had expected a big dumb film which glorified the giant clusterfuck which is America’s war on terror. The opening moments seemed to assert this idea. It begins with a series of extreme close ups of documents (including graphs showing ‘confidence on winning the war on terror’), Tom Cruise as a preachy, warmongering senator and a ridiculous musical score full of pounding notes of doom. But then it changes, subverts your initial expectations and becomes something else. Lions for Lambs is actually a smart film which debates the present state of the war, making clever use of simultaneous story threads to create a thought provoking hour and a half. So instead of slagging it, I now get to discuss intelligently discuss and evaluate this highly political film.

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Review: Resident Evil: Extinction

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To be honest, I have never seen any of the other Resident Evil movies or played any of the games. Shameful, I know, but it does provide me the vantage point of viewing the film on its own terms. As for understanding the plot, I had no trouble. All the information you need going into the movie is that there are lots of zombies, the Umbrella corporation is behind it and Alice (Milla Jovavich) kicks ass. The film creates a post-apocalyptic world that has been overrun by zombies, leaving few human survivors. The creation of this world is quite impressive with hundreds of decaying undead overwhelming decaying buildings that are surrounded by desert in all directions. It looks great and feels reminiscent of Tank Girl and the Mad Max films. In this barren wasteland food, petrol and cigarettes are in short supply. However, makeup appears to be plentiful. It also appears that the survivors of the zombie plague tend to be young, attractive men and women. However, if a human character is ugly or wears a suit, you know they’re evil. Speaking of evil characters, the chairman of the Umbrella Corporation would win the award for worst costume design with his blonde hair, sunglasses and suit combo. And despite the situation, survivors of the zombie plague always seem to make time to apply makeup, eyeliner and cut their hair nicely. The most disheveled a face gets in this movie is being a bit unshaven. Or getting mauled by a zombie.

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Review: 1408

Let me begin with a few tips – this is not the movie for a first date (unless you are dating the Single White Female), a 3am viewing after hitting the 40oz’s all night, or an experiment to see what a flick would be like whilst riding high on the mean green. This is nothing short of a mental nerf gun fight, where the soft, loving nerf missiles have been replaced with bitey, angry, feral cats.

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Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

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I hate when people come out of an action movie, and tell me, “The dialogue was pretty crap, the plot was terrible, the acting was horrific, the casting laughable, and even some of the effects looked a little fake. But it was an action movie, the action scenes were good, so I liked it!” I want to slap those people upside the head, and say, “Imagine if that film you just saw had good action scenes, AND great acting, AND great dialogue, AND a good plot, AND good effects! How awesome a film would it have been? Don’t accept second rate films, just because Hollywood has told you it’s naive to expect better!”

Well, from now on, as they recover from my slapping and shouting, they’ll be less likely to call the cops, as I hand them a copy of The Bourne Ultimatum. The Jason Bourne movies have set a new standard in action films, combining adrenaline-fused action with political intrigue, and a good sense of scope and focus. Jason Bourne isn’t out to save the world – he just wants to know who he is, and after three films, he’s finally going to figure out the thing we knew all along – he’s awesome.

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Review: Stardust

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Star light, star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

I find one of the more interesting trends of movie makers in the last 15 years has been their fixation with recreating stories on the silver screen associated with being ‘children’s favourites’. From fairy tale stories like The Brothers Grimm, and The Lord of the Rings, to children’s hits like Spider-Man and Transformers, it’s now the money-making formula to take an existing story, spruce it up, do ‘justice’ to the franchise, and then sit back to count the money that will roll in. Good or bad, these types of movies are traditionally ones that, well, use the creative flair of someone, and then are interpreted, correctly or not, by someone else.

Sure, the script and things like that are feasibly ‘new’, but those who had read the comic book would 99% be able to tell you what the Spider-Man was going to be about. Usually speaking, book to film adaptations are not only difficult to achieve properly, but tend to earn the ire of fans who love the written version. However, my overall look to this movie was really positive. I walked out thinking – and this is contrary to some movies I’ve seen lately – ‘Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen a movie quite like that for a good while.’

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Review: Blades of Glory

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It’s not often that I would call a movie gay. Indeed, the political incorrectness of calling a movie gay is something one should consider before making the claim. But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it straight.

Blades of Glory is a very, very gay movie.

This is not to say Blades of Glory is a bad movie. Indeed, it provided a few of laughs. However, much of the humour found in this movie is the awkward nature of two men in tight, sequined spandex, whilst holding each other in positions only found in the Karma Sutra whilst skating on ice.

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Review: Reno 911!: Miami

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Who wears short-shorts
We wear short-shorts
Theres hot short-shorts
We like short-shorts
Who wears short-shorts
We wear short-shorts

Every moment I saw Tom Lennon, all I could hear was ‘Short Shorts’ by Royal Teens playing in my mind.

By George, the shorts Lennon wore were reminiscent of those Glenn Hughes wore when he and the Village People sang ‘Y.M.C.A.’.

*Shudders*

Anyways, onto Reno 911. I must confess, prior to the viewing, I had never seen or heard anything to do with the Reno 911 TV Series. I believe this was a good thing, as my experience of the movie was a new one. I often find that prejudices of the successful TV show will taint the experience of the movie version.

So, with a bucket of popcorn, a Boags St. George (Thank you Paramount Pictures!) and a skip in my step, I proceeded into the pre-screening of Reno 911: Miami.

Warning: May contain light spoilers.
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Top Ten: “Epic” films

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I recently saw 300 and wondered, “Is this the best Epic film ever?” Then I of course had to ponder what made a film an “Epic” film. An “Epic” film is a film with a big budget, massive cast, amazing special effects and that just overall feels huge; and remember this isn’t which films are better, it’s which films are more epic. So I got my old thinking noodle going and after came up with these top ten “Epic” films.

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